Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Ever since I have become THE SWARGADEO , I have become a lousy friend. 1.I gave a miss to Nitu Chetia 's bachelor party 2. I am yet to give Navin Sharma , the DVD of House of Cards. 3. Forgot to treat Roop Baruah and Vedanta Baruah . Somebody come and kick me

May 01, 2013 at 11:01AM via Facebook

Sixto Rodriguez is a native of Detroit.He sang songs.And he was anything but popular. However, in South Africa he became wildly popular. More popular than Beatles or any other band or musician. His South African fans believed that he committed suicide.However, two fans decided to find the story of their idol.They travelled to USA looking for Rodriguez's grave. What they found is that he is very much alive but poor. The story of the two fans who come in search of Rodriguez is captured in one of the best documentary ever. SEARCHING FOR SUGAR MAN. Watch it

April 30, 2013 at 10:01PM via Facebook

I do not read Assamese newspapers nor do I have any respect for editors of Assamese newspapers, I suggest all my friends to stop reading jokes early in the morning. Your life will be good

April 30, 2013 at 09:16PM via Facebook

Here’s to the crazy ones. The rebels. The troublemakers. The ones who see things differently. While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do

April 30, 2013 at 08:28PM via Facebook

It seems I have become a native of Heartbreak Island. Staying since August 2012

April 30, 2013 at 01:02PM via Facebook

Monday, April 29, 2013

Have you seen Assam Cricket Association's Gen Secy Bikash Barua's photoshopped photo with SRK and Deepika Padukone? Having known Mr.Bikash Barua , I do not blame him at all. But I would like to slap the computer guy who did the stupid photoshop and I would like to kick the so called journalists sitting in newsdesks of Assamese papers who published the photo and the news without verifying. In this age of internet, such bloopers are horrendous. As for Mr. Bikash Barua , I have this ---- "Nuarisu aru dei"

April 30, 2013 at 09:01AM via Facebook

When a woman remains faithful to her lover he becomes a husband and a father. When a woman cheats her lover, he gets drunk and may end up writing some of the best poetry

April 29, 2013 at 09:59PM via Facebook

তোমাৰ কথা মনত পৰে

April 29, 2013 at 09:30PM via Facebook

Laakh Duniya Kahe Tum Nahin Ho Tum Yehin Ho Tum Yehin Ho

April 29, 2013 at 08:45PM via Facebook

Samsung unveiled GALAXY TAB 3 minutes ago

April 29, 2013 at 02:29PM via Facebook

Sunday, April 28, 2013

We can learn good life lessons from movies like THE DARK KNIGHT RISES and IRONMAN 3. The superheroes,the extraordinary men we see FAIL.They reach the nadir, the lowest point of their lives. What make them superhero is not their costumes,nor the flashy gadgets and cars. They become SUPERHEROES by not accepting their defeat,by not staying in the pit they are thrown into. They rise,they fight and they win. Most importantly,they tell us, there is a SUPERHERO inside us

April 29, 2013 at 11:32AM via Facebook

অনিৰূদ্ধ নহও , ৰোমিও লখিন্দৰ নহও মজনু কিম্বা জুলিয়াছ চিজাৰ

April 29, 2013 at 08:02AM via Facebook

Fire in India's largest missile range Chandipur of DRDO Hope my friend Atreya is safe

April 29, 2013 at 06:49AM via Facebook

DANIEL DAY LEWIS AS "OBAMA" . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyU213nhrh0

April 28, 2013 at 10:39PM via Facebook

AAMSU invited Rockybul Hussain to their meeting and while he was delivering speech shoes and sandals were thrown at him and he had to leave the venue unceremoniously. In a democracy and civil society such nonsense should not be tolerated. I hope Assam Government take strictest possible action against the miscreants

April 28, 2013 at 05:52PM via Facebook

I condemn shoe throwing at Rockyda ( Rockybul Hussain) by AAMSU activists

April 28, 2013 at 05:42PM via Facebook

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Megha Kashyap is my Social Welfare Mata. Parul Deka is my Social Welfare Maahi. Good girls both of them.

April 28, 2013 at 11:34AM via Facebook

Once upon a time a girl fell in love with a guy who happened to be my acquintance. They dated,ate and slept together.One day, the boy dumped the girl. Days later, the girl saw me talking with her ex. I do not know what she did to her ex-lover but she tells everybody she knows that I am a bad boy. Trust me , I never even touched her.

April 28, 2013 at 10:21AM via Facebook

সুপ্ৰ্ভাত খাৰ খোৱা ৰাইজ

April 28, 2013 at 08:04AM via Facebook

Just saw an old lady lying in rain in Guwahati. But not a single NGO and Facebook Social activists are there to help her. Shame on you, buggers of Guwahati

April 27, 2013 at 10:15PM via Facebook

Kaushik Deka on conman Sudipta Sen http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/sudipta-sen-chit-fund-scam-in-kolkata-cbi-trinamool-congress/1/267871.html

April 27, 2013 at 09:31PM via Facebook

CONFESSION PAGES originated in Ivy League colleges to confess about crushes,mistakes and to feel light. In the hands of KHARKHUAS , confession pages have turned to imaginary story page.

April 27, 2013 at 02:46PM via Facebook

Friday, April 26, 2013

ভাল পাব নিশিকিলো

April 27, 2013 at 09:08AM via Facebook

Apne gam ki Numaish na kar, Apne Nasib ki Azmaish na kar, Jo tera hai tere paas Khud ayega, Har roz Usse paane ki khawaish na kar, Taqdeer badal jayegi apne aap hi dost, Muskurana seekh le, Wajah ki talash na kar -------------------------- Never show your grief Never try your luck What is yours, will definitely come to you So do not be desperate everyday O my friend, the wheel of fortune will turn Learn to smile Never look for the reason

April 27, 2013 at 08:20AM via Facebook

Today is one the saddest day in the history of medicine. The trial of HIV vaccine failed and a few hours ago researchers shut down the entire research project. The project was called HVTN 505 CLINICAL TRIAL

April 27, 2013 at 08:02AM via Facebook

One thousand kisses to Prabal Pijush Bhikharia for being the brand new Superintendent of Tax. I hope he will be lenient towards me in future.

April 26, 2013 at 08:30PM via Facebook

Well, her friends and family advised her to stay away from me. Gave her a new toy But she is addicted to banned substance

April 26, 2013 at 07:47PM via Facebook

One kiss to Pallav Tamuly for clearing Assam POlice Service.

April 26, 2013 at 07:21PM via Facebook

My friend Sarfraz Ahmed 's wife MIRZANA HUSSAIN topped APSC. Now I will make Sarfaraz poor. Party time

April 26, 2013 at 05:51PM via Facebook

Now I am going to sms the girlfriends and fiancees of all my good friends. I will urge them to take my friends to watch AASHIQUI 2. The reason is simple. I want to waste time, money and sanity of my friends. I am just back watching the worst love story ever.

April 26, 2013 at 05:45PM via Facebook

Thursday, April 25, 2013

I was destined to have three brothers and one sister. But since I showed signs of Swargadeo , they feared for their life and refused to be born. Thus I became the only child of my parents. My parents also accepted happily because I GRACED them with my birth despite two falls and one car crash.

April 26, 2013 at 11:18AM via Facebook

I carry a broken heart.So I won't be giving my heart to anyone. But my spirit is intact.Hence, I laugh and try to make others laugh.

April 25, 2013 at 10:39PM via Facebook

People who get angry when I write about KHARKHUAS are the real KHARKHUAS. Those who really care for Assam and want to see Assamese people doing great things try to correct the wrongs of Kharkhuas. So what are you? Kharkhua or True Assamese?

April 25, 2013 at 04:26PM via Facebook

Pavanputra Hanuman was carrying the Dronagiri mountain. He passed through Ayodhyaya and was attacked by Bharata with an arrow bearing Sri Rama's name.This injured the mighty Hanumana. When Bharata learned that Hanumana is working for Rama , he offered to help but Hanuman refused and limped back to Rama. Rama , moved by his sacrifices, called him LANGRA TYAGI ( according to later versions of Ramayana)

April 25, 2013 at 03:34PM via Facebook

It is believed that Maryada Purshottam Sri Ram reached the lowest point of his life, having lost his kingdom and wife. It was at that lowest point Ramchandra met Hanuman and his fortunes turned for better. Another reason why Hanuman is also called Sankatmochan, the destroyer of problems

April 25, 2013 at 12:41PM via Facebook

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Hanuman was writing HANUMANT RAMAYANA when Valmiki passed by. Valmiki read it and realised that Hanuman's version is far better then his own.When he said so, Hanuman threw his Ramayana to ocean so as not to surpass Valmiki. An impressed Valmiki promised to compose a paen for him in his next incarnation. In his next avatar, Valmiki became Tulsidas and composed HANUMAN CHALISA. Happy Hanuman Jayanti

April 25, 2013 at 10:15AM via Facebook

This morning , through Garima Saikia Garg learned that Zubeen Garg has always been Zubeen Garg. I do not know which KHARKHUA acted oversmart and spread the lie that he was JIBON BORTHAKUR and later changed the name to Zubeen. The lie was so widespread that even in Wikipedia it is mentioned as such. Kharkhuas never fail in committing blunders

April 25, 2013 at 08:19AM via Facebook

Swargadeo is not elected democratically. But unlike democrats Swargadeo do not play or dance when his people are killed

April 24, 2013 at 04:29PM via Facebook

Bihu buli mur moromor Jorhatiya kharkhua hote eku Guinness Record break kora nai neki?

April 24, 2013 at 03:03PM via Facebook

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Whoever first started CONFESSIONS PAGES had no idea that Kharkhuas will devote so much time to it.

April 24, 2013 at 10:06AM via Facebook

Muslims have Djinns Christians have Ghosts Hindus have Bhoots Kharkhuas have Biira My question is --- Is there communal tension between Djinns,Ghosts,Bhoots and Biira ?

April 23, 2013 at 08:39PM via Facebook

I wake up in the morning. Go to bed at night. In between I do whatever I want to do. That is why I am The Swargadeo

April 23, 2013 at 08:35PM via Facebook

Tarun Gogoi knows to play golf so he played golf. Most kharkhuas do not know anything about golf so they are jealous to see him play golf when Tinsukia is burning. Arrey bhai, Tarun Gogoi is on his third term.He knows what to do and when to do.

April 23, 2013 at 07:12PM via Facebook

Highest misappropriation of MGNREGA funds from 2007 to 2012 is in Assam. CM Tarun Gogoi must take strict action against Rural Development Minister

April 23, 2013 at 02:38PM via Facebook

Monday, April 22, 2013

In a heart warming story Arihana Alaina, a 4 year old girl from Guwahati won Rs 1 lakh in painting competition held by Camel India. Her mother is a domestic help and father is a driver. God bless Sukunu

April 23, 2013 at 12:21PM via Facebook

In case you do not know ,in Assam, there is an MP by the name of Deep Gogoi. Do not be surprised if he becomes CM one fine morning

April 23, 2013 at 11:56AM via Facebook

I'm not in love It's just a phase that I'm going through I'm always looking for something new ----- E. Iglesias

April 23, 2013 at 09:01AM via Facebook

You thought rape of Nirbhaya was ultimate. Well, now we have rape of a 5 year old child. Are you thinking this the ultimate crime? Hold on. Two men in Tughlaqabad tied up a cow and raped.

April 22, 2013 at 06:03PM via Facebook

I recently met a couple.The boy happens to be a good friend of mine. The girl told me that he is the "best boyfriend" in the world. Poor girl, she will never know that while being in a relationship with her "the best boyfriend" slept with 7 girls in total. NB- The girl is not in Facebook

April 22, 2013 at 05:32PM via Facebook

In a few hours from now some of you reading this update will find that you are no longer my facebook friend. The reason is simple- yesterday you were online but too proud to wish me. In case, you want to befriend me again send me a request. And mind you, whether you are the King or the cutest girl you will be unfriended if you do not give me my due respect

April 22, 2013 at 02:00PM via Facebook

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

I am loving this man Kim Jong Un. First he threatened to nuke South Korea and Japan. Now he told US to lift sanctions to have a dialogue. Petua tu chaalu ase

April 18, 2013 at 10:08AM via Facebook

Today is the day which our ancestors set aside to celebrate the womanfolk who form the backbone of Assamese culture. Maiki Bihu, though not so popular, must be celebrated as a thanksgiving by the Assamese men Happy Maiki Bihu

April 18, 2013 at 08:18AM via Facebook

To all the women across the world HAPPY MAIKI BIHU

April 18, 2013 at 08:13AM via Facebook

Ladies and gentleman, Bihu is over and now the season of BOHAGI BIDAI starts. Nobody can give a long GOODBYE like the Kharkhuas give.

April 17, 2013 at 11:51PM via Facebook

While in Assam , the kharkhuas made a mess of Bihu. I must agree that the best Bihu this time around was seen in Gurgaon.Most of the organisers and participants had a good time there and plus dinner was served. I would like to applaud Mridul Bhuyan , the President of Gurgaon Assam Association

April 17, 2013 at 11:45PM via Facebook

I went to several villages on the Bihu day. I did not hear any sound of dhul and pepa. All I saw is drunk men walking. We, the Assamese people are our own enemy. We just shout about Non Assamese and Bangladeshis to hide our own shortcomings

April 17, 2013 at 11:34PM via Facebook

Tradition says, Sculptors use earth from brothel to make idols of gods and goddesses as it is considered holy. Alamgir says, Make friends with a sculptor to know the address of brothels

April 17, 2013 at 12:53PM via Facebook

Monday, April 15, 2013

Any Indian nationals if affected by tragic blasts at Boston Marathon may please contact @IndianEmbassyUS /202-939-7000

April 16, 2013 at 08:59AM via Facebook

What an inspirational scene I have seen this morning. As the bomb went off in Boston, Bill Iffrig fell down to the ground due to shockwaves.The 78 year old marathoner got up and then went on to finish the race. Thats what a HERO do.

April 16, 2013 at 07:50AM via Facebook

BOSTON MARATHON EXPLOSIONS

April 16, 2013 at 02:52AM via Facebook

#Bridge #scene #instagram

From this year onwards I have decided to wish all the senior people i know. I have also decided not to wish any person junior to me.I will only respond to their wish. So if I have not wished you Bihu, it is because you are younger to me in age.' And if you have not wished me that means your parents did not teach you bare minimum courtesy.

April 15, 2013 at 09:40PM via Facebook

Saturday, April 13, 2013

When you give Sir Ravindra Jadeja one ball to get 2 runs he will win it with one ball to spare

April 14, 2013 at 12:05AM via Facebook

When you get caught in the last ball of the match and still win the match for your team you must be something divine. And you are SIR JADEJA.

April 13, 2013 at 11:42PM via Facebook

Happy Poila Boisakh to all the amazing Bengali friends

April 13, 2013 at 11:26PM via Facebook

Kuch is Tarah cover by Rahul Gam . Home recorded https://soundcloud.com/rahul-gam/kuch-is-tarah

April 13, 2013 at 10:13PM via Facebook

Ladki ek pal mein pat gayi Pal mein palat gayi Dil ki toh lag gayi Pehle pyaar jataa gayi Phir band bajaa gayi Dil ki toh lag gayi

April 13, 2013 at 06:09PM via Facebook

I will be extremely busy from now till 8pm.

April 13, 2013 at 03:02PM via Facebook

Do not wish me for Bihu tomorrow. You may be a COW/BULL but I am not. My Bihu is on Monday

April 13, 2013 at 12:51PM via Facebook

Friday, April 12, 2013

If you are unhappy watch this song.If you are happy watch this song for more fun. Its a Bhojpuri song but funloving Assamese people will love it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFnrRdKI3r8

April 13, 2013 at 08:11AM via Facebook

Twitter gives the best Bihu gift ever. Twitter Music is coming

April 13, 2013 at 07:40AM via Facebook

Give me your daughters I will give you grandchildren ---- Alamgir

April 12, 2013 at 11:07PM via Facebook

All the world's a stage, And all of the men and women merely players Then where is the AUDIENCE , Shakespeare bhaijaan

April 12, 2013 at 09:17PM via Facebook

Never ask a girl "Are you on Whatsapp?" Just tell her - "In case you are not on Whatsapp , give me your address.I will send you a HTC phone" If the girl gives you her address, then simply block her. That girl , my friend , is not worthy for you.She will go to the one who can buy her

April 12, 2013 at 07:52PM via Facebook

If you own a Samsung Galaxy S3 or Galaxy Note 2 then please contact me in inbox. Hirak J Sarma I wl get to you later

April 12, 2013 at 06:27PM via Facebook

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Happy Sajibu Cheiraoba to my Meitei friends

April 11, 2013 at 10:14AM via Facebook

God is not a fool to listen to your prayers and look aside what you do and think in your day to day life. Should we pray then? I think yes.Many a times a prayer helps you instill confidence.Hence, we must pray. PS - Writing about God today so that some people ignore my double meaning jokes

April 11, 2013 at 10:09AM via Facebook

I thought I am the only stupid person in this world but it seems I am not alone. Iran announced that will develop an Islamic version of GOOGLE EARTH to counter "western spy" Google Earth. It will be named BASIR. And it will be in 3D.

April 11, 2013 at 08:35AM via Facebook

Finished season premiere of MAD MEN. Now waiting for the following series 1. Newsroom Season 2 2.House of Cards Season 2 3. Sherlock Season 3 4.Homeland Season 3

April 10, 2013 at 11:25PM via Facebook

Kissing your girlfriend when no one is around is like stealing the music system when you can steal the whole car. ----- Swami Bhaskarananda

April 10, 2013 at 05:50PM via Facebook

In old times, matric exams ended in the first week of April and Bihu was knocking at the door. Young girls would come to dance Bihu and then elope with their lovers. That is why many uncles and aunties celebrate their marriage anniversaries this month. Bohag was and is still a romantic month

April 10, 2013 at 04:39PM via Facebook

ULFA today warned singers not to sing any Hindi song in Bihu functions. Singers can however sing Burmese and Chinese songs. Myanmar and China are "friendly" countries for our "revolutionaries"

April 10, 2013 at 01:04PM via Facebook

Monday, April 8, 2013

I do not believe in TIME I believe in my TIMING ----- Bragging BPG

April 09, 2013 at 11:40AM via Facebook

Happy 42nd birthday to NSUI.

April 09, 2013 at 10:07AM via Facebook

#ncaa

The worst Bihu song ever is arguably BAATI BHORAI SIRA KHAABI Which one is the best?

April 08, 2013 at 09:59PM via Facebook

Very rarely do we see chemistry graduates make it big in things other than chemistry.And for that X ray crystallography. Very rarely do we see a female give shivers to Cold War era Kremlin. Very rarely do we see a lady like Baroness Margaret Hilda Thatcher. RIP Iron Lady

April 08, 2013 at 06:01PM via Facebook

Lies that married men tell to girls over Facebook Fact 1- Wife is pregnant Lie- I am not happy with my wife Fact 2- Wife in another city Lie- My wife is cheating on me Fact 3 - Wife is going through menopause Lie-- My wife is having heart problem. She will not live long. I need mental support

April 08, 2013 at 05:35PM via Facebook

Manimugdha Sharma on Chinese hand in NE rebel logistics http://t.co/6MRbqPlSWr

April 08, 2013 at 03:04PM via Facebook

Saturday, April 6, 2013

My wellwishers tell me if I keep writing nonsense updates then no girl will like me.But I am a believer in destiny. When the destined time will come she will break thousand hearts to love this mad guy. If destiny have other plans, no matter how sophisticated I try to be, she will not realise I exist.

April 07, 2013 at 11:28AM via Facebook

Many years ago, a couple went to Kumbh Mela with their twin sons. The twins got separated.One went to Thailand and became TONY JAA. The other came to Assam and became AKHIL GOGOI

April 07, 2013 at 10:33AM via Facebook

How come the Kharkhuas got obsessed about Guinness Book Of World Records? Arrey kharkhuas do something productive. Build industries.Sell products.Market yourselves.Learn new skills.Develop old skills. Thats how you will live. Record r naamot saanda tuli ulta pulta kaam korile eku laav nahay. Good Morning

April 07, 2013 at 09:14AM via Facebook

The MOTHER of all VIRAL Indian Songs Appadi Podu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAV2cCbRAM8

April 06, 2013 at 07:53PM via Facebook

You say you love flowers And you pluck them You say you love trees And you cut them Still you wonder Why I am so afraid of love

April 06, 2013 at 04:45PM via Facebook

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Going to miss Prasanta Ballav Hazarika . He is going to Guwahati. I don't like Guwahati because my ex girlfriends live there. I love Dibrugarh,Delhi,Dubai. That means I will meet Prasanta da RARELY. Bye Bye.Have a great time

April 05, 2013 at 10:56AM via Facebook

Many people are asking me about my girlfriend. Well, she is beautiful,loving,caring,understands me,loves me, is loyal to me, love my parents , intelligent, got big boobs And Do Not Exist

April 05, 2013 at 09:38AM via Facebook

Facebook Home for Android. Mark Zuckerburg is live now

April 04, 2013 at 10:46PM via Facebook

#spirit #bourbon #instagram #instagallery #love #lounge

#meal #india #curry #naan #love #lounge #instagram #instagallery #glory #farewell

#info #instagram #instagallery #humanity #people

Three things are unknown to MEN.Birth,Marriage and Death Five things are unknown to WOMEN Birth,Puberty,Marriage,Menopause,Death.

April 04, 2013 at 05:09PM via Facebook

Reporter to Digvijay Singh -- What steps will you take to curb syndicate in Assam? Digvijay Singh- What is syndicate?Please tell me what is syndicate? Reporter- I do not know. THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH KHARKHUA REPORTERS. THEY JUST PICK UP A WORD AND MAKE A HUE AND CRY WITHOUT KNOWING ANYTHING

April 04, 2013 at 02:50PM via Facebook

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Guwahati is a dirty city. So District Administration is coming up with a solution. You can do a survey of Clean Initiative.Forms are available at DC's Office. But I know the people of Guwahati.You will shout thousand slogans but not take a survey.

April 02, 2013 at 09:07PM via Facebook

Ganesha had two wives RIDDHI and SIDDHI You will have one wife. ZIDDI (via Whatsapp)

April 02, 2013 at 07:43PM via Facebook

For some kickass music listen to this. 100 kisses to Manaz Pratim Sarma https://soundcloud.com/manazpratimsarma/copper-garden

April 02, 2013 at 07:31PM via Facebook

Whenever I see Deepika Padukone I get SISTER SISTER kind of feeling. U lusty guys, do not talk dirty about her

April 02, 2013 at 04:08PM via Facebook

Mujh mein tu, tu hi tu basa Naino mein, jaise khwaab saa Jo tu na ho toh pani pani naina Jo tu na ho toh main bhi hunga main naa Tujhi se mujhe sab ataa

April 02, 2013 at 02:09PM via Facebook

Wishing Sultan E Tinsukia, Maalik e Folkcult, Sabitu ka Pati Parmeswar, bon vivant Pranjal Pratim Dutta a very Happy Birthday.

April 02, 2013 at 01:56PM via Facebook